Here’s how the universe works: just when I am starting a blog about how unsuccessful I am at being a grown up – I lose my job. #thanksuniverse

After crying about it, napping on it, crying some more, and a couple of beers. I realized how relieved I was. Is that a grown up way to feel when you’re on the brink of having to move back home? Probably not. But I realized that shit happens, I was already looking for other jobs, and this will give me more time to write, which I had missed doing, and figure out what I really want to do with my life. Because I am a 27-year-old who still doesn’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

And now, the point of this post – The Unsuccessful Adulting Guide to Unemployment. This is a working list though, it’s what I just came up with over the last maybe 4 hours when I got sick of looking at Monster.com and Craigslist, and didn’t want to type any more cover letters.

1. TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A JOB. Really. People will help you. As soon as I told my closest people (still haven’t told Mom though, sorry Momma), they came to the rescue – with advice, contacts, job openings, and of course – chips & guacamole. You’re not going to find another job via Craigslist and Monster right away, if ever (though I’m still trying). All of the jobs I have ever had I got because I knew somebody who knew somebody.

2. DON’T TELL YOUR PARENTS JUST YET. Or, well, if you have normal parents, do tell them. If you have a mom like mine who worries about everything and watches too many Indian soap operas and will think the world is falling apart and O MY GOD YOU ALREADY AREN’T MARRIED AND NOW YOU’RE UNEMPLOYED… then I’d suggest you wait a little, come up with a back-up plan before you tell her. Or maybe you won’t have to tell her at all because you will find something right away.

3. DON’T BUY A NEW DOMAIN FOR YOUR BLOG THAT NOBODY IS READING YET. Which is exactly what I did. Peep my “about me” section to find out what this blog really was supposed to be about. What’s another $26 to tell the world that I’m a sucky adult?

4. BE BETTER WITH WHATEVER MONEY YOU HAVE SAVED. Perhaps I should change this blog to “Successfully Hypocriting” because I am currently making plans to run away for the evening to my best friends in another city. But hey, I can *totally* go out tonight and not spend ANY money on drinking. I’ll even have dinner at home before I go… (yes I can see you rolling your eyes).

5. DON’T BOOK ANY TRIPS. An extension of #4, really, and also another fail on my part – as I had already booked a trip to Europe the night before I was let go. I could probably still cancel it. But I’m not going to… #yolo

6. SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO TO SAVE MONEY. My current solution is to try to get out of my apartment lease or sublet it, and temporarily stay with a friend. That will help me save over a lottttt of money a month in rent and utilities. And it helps I have wonderful people in my life who will let me stay with them very briefly so I don’t have to move back home to Jersey. I also might cut off my internet because my apartment building has free wifi, I have unlimited internet on my phone, and I can go to starbucks and/or Barnes & Noble. Okay… I’m definitely probably not cutting off my internet. But I promise I’ll turn off my A/C to save on the utilities.

7. TAKE ON ODD JOBS, PART-TIME, OR TEMP JOBS. I just posted on fiverr.com that I can do anyone’s paper for free (because I’m just that darn good) and within 5 minutes someone asked if I can write a 35,000 word story. Topic: Spicy Romance. So perhaps I’ll be getting published soon. Wonder how this person will feel about a fictional story about Chicken Curry (what’s more Spicy and Romantic than Indian food???). I’m also on the market for bartending (never done it before though) or dog walking (also never done before, unless walking my own shihtzu counts). But really, just figure out what you can do to keep going until something permanent comes along, and do it!

7. STAY POSITIVE. I was really sad for a short while last night. But I woke up this morning with a new sense of purpose because “hey look! I’m currently jobless… BUT THE WORLD HASN’T ENDED!” Remember… Everything happens for a reason. Something good always comes from something bad. And, when one door closes, another opens. There, I just gave you three inspirational-ish quotes you can use to remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world.

So here I am: loan payments, rent payment, bills, suffering from an immense case of wanderlust, obsessed with sushi, and enough saved to last me a month. On the plus side, I might qualify for food stamps in the mean time (once I figure out how it works). On the negative side: I don’t think food stamps pay for sushi at my favorite sushi place (Hi Aloha Baltimore!).

Also, I’m a little TOO excited that I was able to start my blog off with the topic of being unemployed.

But having said that – please feel free to share any tips on unsuccessfully (or successfully) adulting, being unemployed, job hunting, staying positive, or… whatever you think could help!