Seeing is believing (in myself)

I know I promised quicker updates after the last post. But, once I started typing ( in my case, talk to texting), I realized I had so much to say t  I could write a novel! And this is a blog so I have to keep it short-ish  and sweet. What  I’m going to do is split up my story in to different subjects. I’m starting with the progression of my vision because it’s something I worked on a lot on my own and it’s still an issue today.

In the beginning of May, I saw a neuro opthamologist, basically  an eye doctor for  the brain because I was having problems with my vision relating to my brain injury. I was seeing writing everywhere, like I thought the vents in  the ceiling was telling the time. I couldn’t read the clock that was hanging on the wall because the numbers always seemed to change into different characters or move around on the face of the clock. Furthermore, when I could read read words they would be missing letters, or the letters would change and would say something completely new . For example, a sweatshirt  that  said Adidas might be missing the first and last letter or something, and the next second it might change to s something hike” I die.”  For a couple of weeks  I thought  my brother  and fiance  were wearing name brand knock-offs because I could only see half of the letters on their shirts. 

It’s not that I was seeing double, it’s just that things seemed off. I remember watching SpongeBob SquarePants with my brother and asking him SpongeBob looked weird to him as well. He didn’t understand what I meant, so I didn’t push the topic. I remember also watching Friends and Monica’s apartment didn’t look right. All the furniture was there but it look like it was spaced differently.I   also had a hard time focusing on people’s faces.  When I would try to focus on a face I was unable to see their nose. I knew it was there but my brain couldn’t register it. I couldn’t tell in detail what any of my new therapists looked  like. For the longest time I thought my occupational therapist had  a nose ring through the middle of her nose. It wasn’t until much later that I realized she had a normal nose piercing. And last but not least, I also had depth perception issues. I couldn’t figure out the distance between me and other objects. Which is probably why I had a hard time with Monica’s apartment.

This was still an improvement from my vision when I first woke up in the hospital  a month or so earlier where I was seeing colors , and inanimate objects were moving on their own.  I thought the medical staff had  nametags that said things like Dr Killer and  Nurse Death. I  could not see people’s faces or what they were wearing clearly at all; faces looked distorted; their noses  were too high up on their faces or their eyes were too close to each other.  A friend of mine came to see me in the hospital after I had just woken up from being sedated and I thought her mom was wearing a tube top and had blond hair.

The neuro opthamologist gave me some good news and bad news. The good news was that the prescription  for my eyesight  hadn’t changed  and my vision would return  to normal. The bad news was that it would take 6 to 8 months for me to see clearer,and over a year before my vision wowould go back to normal .

was devastated by this news. I couldn’t wait that long to be able to read and see things clearly. So what  I did was put on subtitles for all the Netflix movies I watched. I tried reading anyting I could get my hands on like the daily  menu, the cards people sent to me, or the signs in the hallways. It wasn’t long before I noticed that I could tell time on the  wall clock. This was followed by me being able to read words  written in big letters. Faces started to look less  distorted I still couldn’t see anyone’s noses when I tried to focus but at least their noses were in the right place as were their  eyes. With the help of my speech therapist,I was able to learn how to read sentences by crossing out the word after reading it. The constant exercise of my eyes and forcing my brain to concentrate, led me to start seeing clearer and reading  a month after I was told it would take 6 to 8 months.

As of today I’m able to read if I have a ruler or something to follow along  with, and I still miss some words especially in the beginning of entences.I have a hard time reading people’s handwriting I still have some issues with focusing, but my brain has learned to compensate by allowing me to look to the side of where I’m trying to focus. My  depth perception is the least improved. 

In October, I saw neuro opthamologist so, who told to me that I still have some damage to my optic nerve from the brain injury. She assured me that it will get better with the time.  I’m okay with, because I have faith in my brain that is competent enough to recover and and that too , sooner than expected.

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